One day recently I visited with three clients that were in the hospital and were unable to return home! (A woman younger than me, a man the same age as our son and an elderly gentleman.) All of them were overwhelmed and had no idea what to do.
Frequently we work with people who suddenly have to move because of an unexpected incident like a heart attack, stroke, fall, accident, down turn in their finances, loss of a partner, or loss of their drivers’ license. They usually have never considered moving . They don’t know what they could do or where they could go.
It is wiser to have a “backup” plan. Leave your wallet and credit cards at home and go see what’s available. Look at apartments, condos, retirement residences. Get an idea of what is available and what the financial commitment would be. See what you “could” live with and what you couldn’t if suddenly you needed to move.
Adult children of aging parents this is a way you can open a conversation with a parent. Address the fact that they do not want to move and you hope they can stay in their home but also say if there ever was an emergency let’s have a backup plan. Reinforce that you know they want to stay in their home but it’s hard to make decisions in an emergency when you don’t even know what is available. If you are looking at a Retirement Residence, book a tour and a meal WITH YOUR LOVED ONE’S PERMISSION. After ask if there was anything they liked or disliked about the experience. What we have often heard is, “Old people live there!”
When you use this approach you take pressure off your parent and you get an idea of what they would want to do if it ever was necessary. Siblings frequently have different ideas of what to do for a parent if the topic has never been discussed. Often everyone is trying to “Guess” what a parent might want and it can cause friction in relationships.
The other benefit we often see is several months or a year later a parent will bring up the topic of moving and be prepared mentally and emotionally to begin the process.
We know how emotional these times can be for everyone in the family. We are here to help you and your loved one. Contact Us Today For A Chat.